Don’t Give Up

Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Some days are supposed to be perfect,
But they don’t turn out the way you thought they would…
Expectations aren’t met,
And everything that couldn’t possibly go wrong,
Go Wrong…

But what I want to tell you is;
Don’t give up,
Don’t stop working,
Don’t stop trying,
Don’t stop at all…

I know you’re giving it a 120%
But sometimes the results just don’t show,
Especially, when you want them to.

It takes time,
Good things always do…
All you need to do is focus,
And work hard-smart.

You go through shit,
Things you never knew could happen to you,
Come and push you further down…
Face it,
Beat it,
Fight it,
Even if there’s no end in sight.

No matter how much you’re hurting right now,
No matter how much worse it gets from here on out,
Don’t give up.

This is your dream,
There is no way out.
Stick to it,
Cry tears of pain and blood,
Burn and scream,
Feel the pain cut through you…

It may not seem like it now,
But you’re a step closer to the person,
You’re supposed to be…

Just don’t ever- Give up.

Running Away…

“Running, you should know, is a kind of stillness.” ― Tiphanie YaniqueHow to Escape from a Leper Colony

Sometimes I wonder what that would be like?
To run away, from everything good & bad,
To forget everything you’ve lived through so far,
Only to remember the new…

To move to a place unknown,
That teaches me to unlearn all that I know…
Where there is no one you recognize,
Or even want to know…
Where strangers are your only friends
And that’s the way it would always be…

What would it be like to live in a world,
Where no one knows you & no one cares to,
Where people smile at you because they’re obliged to,
Where speaking to a stranger is a waste of their time…

What would it be like,
To run away?
Never to return & never to look back?

What would it be like to run away,
To a place far away;
A place to forever roam,
Never to return to the place I once called ‘Home’…

Don’t be a Bystander…

“Stand up to ignorance, because if you don’t, the ignorant will run free to spread ignorance like a disease.” ― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

Don’t be a Bystander
Stand up & fight for her…

Don’t tell her what to wear,
Eat,
Or Do…
Stand up for her instead…

Sometimes she’s tired
Of all the touches, glares & weird grins…
Fight for her,
When she can’t, for herself…

It doesn’t matter where she is,
In crowds or secluded places,
It isn’t her fault…

Actually, it’s never her fault…

Tell her she’s strong
When she’s not…
Tell her you’re with her
No matter what…

Tell her to hit & kick & shout & scream
When they use her body
To boost their ego,
prove their “manliness”,
and satisfy their so-called “needs”…

Tell her it isn’t her fault
Till she believes it,

And, you believe it yourself…

Learn what’s truly right & wrong
And Fight for her,
When she can’t, for herself

 

 

Acceptance

“…When you stopped wishing things wouldn’t fall apart, you’d stop suffering when they did.” ― John Green

Once you accept everything in your control and all that isn’t, life suddenly seems like a ‘breeze’ to live.
It feels as though a weight is lifted off your shoulders. It’s easier to breathe, to love and to smile.

There was a question, always on my mind; “What if?”

What if I studied a bit more?
What if I feared a bit less?
What if I did something more useful?

What if? What if? What if?

I got tired of asking these questions to myself; day in & day out.
I got tired that my brain and my heart had to go through this whole round of hate, self- pity & regret to answer those questions.

I detested the fact that I put myself through all of this self-doubt & negativity. It was absolutely awful.
Imagine thinking about all of these negative situations, all throughout the day, when that’s what they’ll always be; negative situations. They may not even play out in real life!
What I did know,however, was that it was eating me alive; turning me into someone I couldn’t even recognize.

So now I accept. I accept myself as I am and the reasons that have led me to be where I am today. I accept that not everything is under my control & sometimes, I have to let go.

Like Mr. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow says “For, after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”

I have slowly started to see life what it truly is; A Flawed Beauty; A wonder of its own, unique to it’s Maker.

Rock bottom…

“And I know, knew for sure, with an absolute certainty, that this is rock bottom, this what the worst possible thing feels like. It is not some grand, wretched emotional breakdown. It is, in fact, so very mundane:…Rock Bottom is an inability to cope with the commonplace that is so extreme it makes even the grandest and loveliest things unbearable…Rock bottom is feeling that the only thing that matters in all of life is the one bad moment…Rock bottom is everything out of focus. It’s a failure of vision, a failure to see the world how it is, to see the good in what it is, and only to wonder why the hell things look the way they do and not—and not some other way.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel

My eyes refuse to see the beautiful colours all around & my brain can’t register what I eat; Pizza, Chocolate, French Fries, Eggplant; it all tastes the same; Bland.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve ‘seen the light’.

It was easy to get adjusted to this darkness. It was the kind that hugged you tight & never let go. It gives that feeling of comfort, that makes you forget what you’ve really been born to do…

I’ve forgotten how to show expressions, I cry when I’m happy (or sad or angry or upset or bored).

I used to be quite strong but right now I don’t want to wake up in the morning or sleep at night. All I wish to do is Nothing. All my dreams & interests, all seem like a far-away thought, something like a forgotten friend…

Every time I have a reason to smile a little, something insignificant comes up & I spiral downwards once again…

I know I’ve hit rock bottom.

I’ve heard it all before, that things will get better, that there’s no way around but Up but I feel that I’m just digging around me and scurrying further into the dark hole.

I have started to slowly dig around, to find the light to guide me to where I’m supposed to go but as for this moment, I’ll stay here, safe & sound.