Rock bottom…

“And I know, knew for sure, with an absolute certainty, that this is rock bottom, this what the worst possible thing feels like. It is not some grand, wretched emotional breakdown. It is, in fact, so very mundane:…Rock Bottom is an inability to cope with the commonplace that is so extreme it makes even the grandest and loveliest things unbearable…Rock bottom is feeling that the only thing that matters in all of life is the one bad moment…Rock bottom is everything out of focus. It’s a failure of vision, a failure to see the world how it is, to see the good in what it is, and only to wonder why the hell things look the way they do and not—and not some other way.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel

My eyes refuse to see the beautiful colours all around & my brain can’t register what I eat; Pizza, Chocolate, French Fries, Eggplant; it all tastes the same; Bland.

It’s been quite some time since I’ve ‘seen the light’.

It was easy to get adjusted to this darkness. It was the kind that hugged you tight & never let go. It gives that feeling of comfort, that makes you forget what you’ve really been born to do…

I’ve forgotten how to show expressions, I cry when I’m happy (or sad or angry or upset or bored).

I used to be quite strong but right now I don’t want to wake up in the morning or sleep at night. All I wish to do is Nothing. All my dreams & interests, all seem like a far-away thought, something like a forgotten friend…

Every time I have a reason to smile a little, something insignificant comes up & I spiral downwards once again…

I know I’ve hit rock bottom.

I’ve heard it all before, that things will get better, that there’s no way around but Up but I feel that I’m just digging around me and scurrying further into the dark hole.

I have started to slowly dig around, to find the light to guide me to where I’m supposed to go but as for this moment, I’ll stay here, safe & sound.

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One thought on “Rock bottom…

  1. Dipen S. says:

    A man lived atop a hill, who liked living on the edge. Happy in his own way of life, had to face an unfortunate incident. He fell from the edge that was his abode and came stumbling down the hill. Tried and tried but could not get the control it needed over itself to balance and avoid falling further. Every word whispered to him, about the things will be better were mere noises while he kept stumbling. Nothing more seemed cheerful except the wish to just not fall and get hurt and stand back on its feet. Kept on falling, however, and at the end, when it reached the bottom of the hill, all bruised, soiled with dust, tears rolling down while holding back from feeling the intense pain.

    Something then happened. it wasn’t miracle, It was the only option to him. To look up to climb that hill that once tortured him, for there was nothing down there to look at. Pain was only pushing him away to take the first step. But efforts were needed to get back home – his happy place. He summoned all the energy that was left into him, to fight the pain. Limping his way, he carried himself, sometime even dragging himself. Step-by-step, the home seemed to be only getting closer. Time was passing by and scared of the dark, yet staying motivated, he kept moving on.

    He wanted to look down to get a glimpse of how far has he been successful. However, there was nothing but darkness down there, and light atop the hill. Finding it futile to look down, he kept his head up and eyes on his goal – the tiny star of light from the window that was waiting to glitter in his eyes….

    Dear reader of this comment, the story is way too long, just like the journey his journey but the ending is going to be wonderful and amazing, even if not the best. It all depends on you how you would like to finish it up.

    Best regards,
    Well-wisher.

    Liked by 1 person

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