Tonight is unusually silent

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Tonight is unusually silent. The usual sounds of crickets in our backyard & soft wind blowing against the leaves were replaced by this silence.

It’s unusually quiet …The kind of silence before a storm.

The clock shows me it’s just 3am & I can’t seem to sleep anymore. I look at the frame besides it & see our smiling faces stuck in time forever, framed on our bed side table. It was the day we left for our honeymoon.

I can’t remember the date; it was so long ago.

We have been through so much since then.

I remember the day we got back & you got that dreaded phone call. I know it’s your duty & everything but I could never make peace with the fact that the woman I love, had to leave maybe never to return.

I’m one of the proudest husbands around! How can I not be? My beautiful & strong wife serves in the army…
It is an honor to even be associated with someone who partakes in something as noble as protecting your country & it’s countrymen from those who wish Her harm; and here I am, married to one such person.

Each scar on her body reminds me of how wonderful she is, each & every one of them is a souvenir of every bad day & some good ones she has been through in the past 5 years. They have done nothing but enhance her beauty.

But no matter how proud I am, it kills me inside; slowly.

Seeing you in that uniform, waving goodbye & blowing flying kisses, I can’t help but hold you and never let you go.

I love you but these goodbyes are the hardest. I can’t even imagine the horrors you go through, all the terrible things you see; things that haunt you for days on end but I live a nightmare every single minute of every single day you are away.

Your letters to me & the 30 second phone calls are the only things that keep me going all that time you aren’t here.

I can’t imagine a world that you are not a part of…

Tonight is unusually still…

I can feel the soft breeze touch my face & I see you standing there in front of me. You are waving back at me & blowing flying kisses, but it isn’t you, it was just an illusion…

The unusual stillness was broken by the sounds of a man in a uniform walking towards our doorstep.

It began to rain…


3 thoughts on “Tonight is unusually silent

  1. Yes, I’ve always wondered how people do it – with a husband or wife fighting somewhere – the uncertainty, the fear, the sudden departures, the long absences.


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