“You can have a pet zebra and put that zebra into a small cage every day and tell the zebra that you love it, but no matter how you and the zebra love each other, the fact remains, that the zebra should be let out of that cage and should belong to someone who can treat it better, the way it should be treated, someone who can make it happy.” ― C. JoyBell C.
I just read this message sent by some wife of my husband’s friend on Whatsapp & I couldn’t help it, but I threw my phone on the tiled floor below. I chose these tiles, you know, because according to him, that’s a woman’s job and now he hates them.
Cute Letter from a newly married girl to her mother
Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage right from my childhood days. I never thought beyond the time that I would spend happily with my prince charming.
But today when I am married, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It’s not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it. It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromises.
I can’t wake up anytime I want to.
I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family.
I can’t laze around in my pyjamas throughout the day.
I am expected to be presentable every time.
I can’t just go out anytime I want to.
I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family.
I just can’t hit the bed anytime I want to.
I am expected to be active and around the family.
I can’t expect to be treated like a princess but am supposed to take care of everyone else in the family.
And then I think to myself, ‘why did I get married at all?’ I was happier with you, mom. Sometimes I think of coming back to you and getting pampered again.
I want to come home to my favorite food cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with friends. I want to sleep on your lap like I have no worry in this world. But then I suddenly realize, had you not got married and made such sacrifices in your life, I wouldn’t have had so many wonderful memories to hang on to. And suddenly, the purpose of all this becomes clear- to return the same comfort, peace and happiness to my new family that I got from you.
And I am sure that as time would pass, I would start loving this life equally as you do. Thank you mom for all the sacrifices and compromises you made. They give me the strength to do the same. Love you.
It’s an excellent article for all daughters…
Ma, you told me all of these things too. You always used to tell me that if I don’t learn now, I would suffer later.
Why ma, why didn’t you ever show me what’s it like to love & be loved? Why have you always told me to be a good girl rather than living a life where I could take my own decisions & make my own mistakes? Why did you show me a world where life has nothing but endless chores after endless chores & slaving for a man who doesn’t respect me for who I am but just buys me a nice saree when we have to go to a party?
Why did you tell me that the only way to man’s heart is his stomach? Why didn’t you tell me they don’t love you even if you make the most amazing meal & they still crave for their mom’s Biryani?
Why didn’t you tell me that marriage is a contract where I’m a maid & he’s the king? I sleep with him when he orders me to, but I feel like a whore. I don’t know what it’s like to be loved, to feel those butterflies in my stomach & tingles on my skin.
And then he jokes with his colleagues & friends that I watch daily soaps all day, when he doesn’t realize that sub-consciously I’m trying to live through the protagonist on screen. I see how special her husband makes her feel & the way he stands up for her & I live my dream in those twenty minutes.
I crave for long drives & sweet nothings, dressing up, small vacations & a break from these endless chores, being treated like a princess at least on my Birthday, a cup of tea that was not made by me but most of all I crave to go back to work & proving to myself that I still mean something, that I’m worth something.
Right now, no matter what I do, I’m just not good enough.
Why ma, why didn’t you show me there is a world beyond this where women find that special someone who loves them & treat them like a partner? Did our caste status matter more than my happiness? Why didn’t you show me there is a world where women & men can be best friends? Why didn’t you show me the other side where I could be independent & demand the same rights when I got married?
I’m 28 & pregnant now with a child who doesn’t know what the world has in store for him/her. But I promise one thing, I will show them the other side, the side where they can live vicariously & not submit to anyone.
I can see a world where humans are treated as equals regardless of what they wear or look like & no one is restricted from following the path they were supposed to.
Your Only Daughter(ex-burden).