“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” ― Jim Morrison
Standing by the Wishing Fountain, I thought back to the countless wishes I have made since my childhood. First it was a doll house, then a phone, then a crush to like me back & now all I wanted to wish for was for someone to take all the pain away, to never have to suffer again.
But how can I wish for the pain to go away? When we tell our kids that we would protect them from every bad experience, we are actually preventing them from experiencing all that the world has to offer – the good & the bad. It is this pain, this suffering & happiness that makes us who we are today.
When you wish the pain away, you are basically wishing away a part of yourself; the part that has significantly attributed to making you the person you are today. You may be bitter, cynical, more loving, depressed, revengeful or just happy, whatever it is, it is who you are. That person keeps evolving.
So instead of wishing away the pain, embrace it. Feel it as much as you can. Running away from it or numbing it for a while doesn’t work because it eventually catches up & you’d suffer more than intended. It is in this pain & suffering, you can see who you are & what you are capable of.
You get to know who are the ones who love you for who you are & who those are who just use you for their benefit.
it’s because of this pain, you can love more deeply, feel the emotions going through every vein in your body, laugh reverberating sounds embedded within the deepest recesses of your soul & live as though there is no tomorrow.
I have been rejected plenty of times whether it comes to relationships or other different aspects in life & each & every time, the pain I feel is overwhelming & it takes days, sometimes months or a few years to overcome it but I have found a way to release it because this pain needs an outlet & the way I release it to the world is in the form of stories, dance & music.
This pain has taught me so much more about people, the real reasons why they behave the way they do.
I can understand why some mothers feel the need to control their children’s lives, why some parents can’t hug their kids, why some can’t trust or love anyone, why some play with feelings of others, why some give up easily…
While I am not justifying their actions I know that, in most cases, these kind of people have suffered directly or indirectly in ways that can’t be understood & they are the ones who need help, they need to let go of their need to control & show power. They need to be taught & shown that converting the pain in their hearts to loving someone or something is the greatest power one can hold.
Next time you feel that this is the end of the world for you; just close your eyes, place your hands on your heart & breathe deeply. You are alive & right now that is all that matters. Even though right now things don’t make sense & everything around you is destroyed, you have the power within yourself to figure out a way to make things right.
Have some faith in yourself & always remember that you are stronger than you think.